Feelings
by hisashi
Summary: a 3+4 story but it contains rape. you have been warned! but it's not that bad .. hehe.


1 Feelings  
  
By hisashi  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
I stared at him coldly. He's sobbing on the bed, grasping the sheets so tight. I almost leaned forward to him again, but I didn't. I hate to see him cry.  
  
  
  
"Trowa …", he whispered.  
  
  
  
I glared and turned my back against him. It's raining outside. "You can't go home now. It's raining," I said calmly and stared at him again. "Or you want to go home now?"  
  
  
  
He buried his head to the pillow. I nodded, walked to the door and slammed it.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
"Trowa!! So glad you came!!", Catherine smiled and hugged me. "It's been a long time …"  
  
  
  
"Hi, Sis," I nodded casually. "How's the circus?"  
  
  
  
"Pretty good!!!", she punched the air. "It's not very good without you, but we're getting lots of compliments!! Tee-hee!!"  
  
  
  
I chuckled and shook my head. "I see."  
  
  
  
"So … how's Quatre?"  
  
  
  
I froze in my place. "What?"  
  
  
  
She made a face and rolled her eyes. "Oh God, Trowa, you have a crush on that boy since the war … aren't you gonna make a move to him or something?"  
  
  
  
I gulped. "Maybe …"  
  
  
  
"Maybe? Aw, Trowa, that's not you …", she smiled. "That's VERY not you. Anyway, how about seeing the lions? They missed you so much …"  
  
  
  
I nodded dumbly before following her.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
I sighed and closed the door. He sat there, with my shirts. He smiled to me sheepishly. I frowned and glared at him. "Why didn't you go home?"  
  
  
  
He bit his lip. "I can't."  
  
  
  
"Why? You didn't understand how to take the bus?", I snapped.  
  
  
  
He looks scared. "That's not it …"  
  
  
  
"So what?", I yelled and passed him. He touched my arm. "Now what?"  
  
  
  
"Trowa ….", he whispered.  
  
  
  
I tugged my arm and he startled. He let go of my arm. Abruptly, I grabbed his collar and pressing my lips against his. He whimpered and I let go of him. "Goodnight," I said calmly and left him alone.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
"Trowa!! How are you, man??????"  
  
  
  
I frowned and looked around to find the source. "Duo?"  
  
  
  
He grinned and flashed the victory sign. "How are you, Trow?", he stared at my body. "Gee … you're getting thinner, right? What happened?"  
  
  
  
What happened? Good question …  
  
  
  
"Nothing, really," I shrugged. I stared at the person behind him. "Heero?"  
  
  
  
The Perfect Soldier -- ex perfect soldier, I must say – nodded. "Hi, Trowa."  
  
  
  
"Are you two …"  
  
  
  
"A couple?", Duo grinned and hugged Heero. "Yes, we are!!!"  
  
  
  
Heero stared at him, annoyed. Then he stared at me. "Yeah, so we are a couple. What about you? Where's Quatre?"  
  
  
  
"Quatre?"  
  
  
  
"I thought you love him, Trow?", Duo frowned.  
  
  
  
I sighed. "None of your business."  
  
  
  
"Still cold as ever, ne?", Duo sighed and grinned. "Ah well, we have to go now!! Tell Quatre I missed him so much, okay?"  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
I walked to the room and found he's been waiting for me.  
  
  
  
"Welcome home," he said and smiled.  
  
  
  
I glared at him. "Why aren't you sleeping?"  
  
  
  
"I … I was waiting for you."  
  
  
  
"You shouldn't do that!!", I yelled and he jumped slightly.  
  
  
  
"Go … gomen," he whispered.  
  
  
  
He looks so fragile and vulnerable. I sighed and walked to him. I brushed the bangs from his forehead and stared at him. "Quatre, you shouldn't do this."  
  
  
  
"Do what?"  
  
  
  
"Anything that you've been doing for me!! Waiting for me, staying here … this is wrong."  
  
  
  
"Why?", he frowned. "Why?"  
  
  
  
"You should hate me."  
  
  
  
He shook his head stubbornly. "I don't hate you."  
  
  
  
"I raped you!!"  
  
  
  
The blonde smiled and shook his head again. "It's not that bad, Trowa …", he whispered and leaned forward to hug me. "It's not that bad …"  
  
  
  
"What do you mean, it's not that bad?", I snapped, but I'm not trying to struggle from his embrace. "I raped you, I used you."  
  
  
  
"And you love me."  
  
  
  
"How can you be so sure?"  
  
  
  
"Trowa …", he started to cry. "Please … even though you did those horrible things to me, you … you love me, right? Like I love you?"  
  
  
  
I blinked. "You what?"  
  
  
  
"I love you …"  
  
  
  
He laid his head on my shoulder and sobbed quietly. He loves me? He really loves me? After what I did to him … Quatre, you're unbelievable, you know that?  
  
  
  
"You have feelings too, Trowa, right?", he whispered and stared into my eyes.  
  
  
  
I nodded slowly and pressing my lips against his. But this time, I did it gently, carefully, and I did it with all my heart.  
  
  
  
"Forgive me, Quatre …"  
  
  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


End file.
